If you are 100% honest with yourself, who are the people you really want to connect with in your life? In a perfect world, who would you have close, healthy relationships with? For example,
- Your children
- Your parents
- Your spouse or a significant other
- Friends
Have you lost any relationships that are really important to you? If so, what role did you play in the loss or breakdown of that relationship? I am not blaming you for the destruction of your relationships. What I know is that we all play a role in the success or failure of our relationships.
Since we cannot control the actions of others, we can only take responsibility for our role. It is important that we take 100% responsibility for the success of our relationships. Why? If we say for example, that we are responsible for 50% of the success of our relationship, then we have to constantly keep score to make sure the other person is holding up their end of the deal. How do you love someone with all of your heart while keeping an eye out to make sure you are not giving any more of an effort than they are?
Love means making a choice. Say, “I choose you,” and act in full support of your choice (not peeking over on the other side to see if the other perison is doing it too). Often, there can be obstacles in the way, making it difficult for you to show your love – like a difficult co-parent, an unforgiving partner, a partner who loves you but struggles to connect, a child who doesn’t understand your decisions or your growth. Know that Love transforms situations. Most importantly, Love transforms you. It is supernatural. After all, God is Love and you are created in His image.
Following a teaching by one of my favorites, Brian Orme, I incorporated I Corinthians 13 into my daily affirmations and I believe it caused me to show up more powerfully for those I care about. I make choices to connect, even when I am afraid, because I am loving authentically in alignment with my choices. I refuse to allow fear to interfere with my connections. If I momentarily slip into a fear response, I try to fix it immediately. Speaking out loud what you want for your life, creates what you want for your life.
I will write more about affirmations in a separate post but I invite you to take this on and let it transform your approach to your relationships, especially the difficult ones.
Read each version of this scripture out loud to yourself. If you can, record it, and play it back each day.
This is Love – read it out loud to yourself:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
This is how God loves you – read it out loud to yourself:
God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. God does not dishonor me, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, God keeps no record of my wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects me, always trusts me, always hopes the best for me, always perseveres.
God never fails me.
This is how you were made to love – read it out loud yourself:
I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud. I do not dishonor others, I am not self-seeking, I am not easily angered, I keep no record of wrongs done to me. I do not delight in evil but I rejoice in the truth. I always protect the ones I love, always trust the ones I love, always hope the best and always persevere for the ones I love.
I never fail my loved ones.