Upon being born into this earth, we inevitably collect bumps, bruises, and scars. While our physical wounds heal and most are never seen or heard of again, our emotional wounds if never addressed can wreak havoc throughout our entire lives. Wounds from childhood can be the most impactful. Our parents inevitably make choices that we don’t understand, some are even neglectful and/or abusive and their actions create all kinds of issues for us.
We built up tried and true defenses for our fears: “I won’t allow them to get close to me. They will never know my secret. I can’t trust anyone. No one understands me. No one really accepts me as I am. I must be strong at all times. I can’t depend on anyone but myself.” What else can you add to this list? The thing about these defenses is that they are really walls that keep us from truly connecting with anyone else. We were created to connect, to be placed within family and community, not to do life alone. However, the trauma we experience in our early relationships, or even in our significant adolescent and adult relationships teach us to avoid these vulnerabilities and we become shut down to love.
Warrior, I almost hate to ask you to put your weapons down, but they are causing more harm to you than they are helping you. The only way to love and to create and maintain connections is to believe the best and really give people a chance to be in your life. Your greatest strength is your ability and willingness to love. Your love heals. Your love leads your family and community in the way they should go. We are hurting without your love.
I invite you on a journey of healing so that you may fully operate in your authority as a man. Let’s keep this conversation going.